I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
