How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
