dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm passing your future prison.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You pole danced in your parka.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
