i think my tv is drunk
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
