Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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