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does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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