Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize