Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Im part way to drunk.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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