Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
