please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
