so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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