it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
