he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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