Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
