love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
