Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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