Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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