I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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