it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
