Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We need to rekindle our bromance
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
