If i come over, it means nothing
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
