If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize