Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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