i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
