Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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