Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize
