Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
God, you're like boner-b-gone
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
