They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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