For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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