For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
