I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize