Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
