She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
