i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
