My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
