you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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