Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
