I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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