ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize