I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
