brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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