I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize