I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
