Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
