so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You ruined the universe
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