This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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