I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Are we still banned from the library?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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