D3 body, D1 cock
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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