So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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