If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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