8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
