Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
how does that bad decision feel?
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