Jerry, you need to find god
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize