This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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