last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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