Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
