Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
