She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We are two peas in an std pod
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
