I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
