You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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