Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
