Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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