i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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