Sry I called you an 8
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
