K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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