Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
