So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
