Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
