btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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