Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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