Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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