I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
