Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
