so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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