We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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