Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize